“Don’t call me, Babe” says the new Abarth 500

“Don’t call me, Babe” are the immortal words from Pammie’s 1996 hit-film Barb Wire. Okay it wasn’t a hit. But like Barb, Fiat is trying to shake misconceptions and stereotypes. The notion that the 500 is ‘girly’ has haunted the car since its launch, but our Trevor and Patrick will fervently disagree. However, to the average man-on-the-street, the perception is otherwise and rightfully so. The car is often described as “cute” and  ”pretty,” – even Barbie has a Fiat 500 (and J-Lo) but these new scorpions from the Fiat group have a serious sting in their tail.

Click on the image to view a full gallery of the Abarth 500, Abarth 500 esseesse and Abart 500 695 Tributo Ferrari. You will be redirected away from this page, so right click and select 'open in a new tab/page.'

After quite a wait (the Abarth 500 launched overseas in 2008), it has finally been made available to South Africans through the Abarth Performance Centre at Arnold Chatz in Craighall Park, Johannesburg, and will cost you R230 000 for the 1.4l turbo-charged engine producing 99kW @ 5500rpm and 206Nm from a relatively high 3000rpm. The Abarth 500C will cost R255 000 for the privilege of an uninterrupted view of the African skies above. Fiat engines have always been a little ‘fizzy’ and beg to be driven, and the Abarth 500 appears to be the same. The Abarth 500C is also available with the Dualogic ‘manu-matic’ MTA transmission, if changing gears with a stick aint your thang, and gains an extra 4kW in the process upping the power to 103kW at a lower 5000rpm. It gives the hydraulically actuated manual transmission – no dual clutches here – less of a hard time and makes it more drivable without requiring the ‘box to change down as often.

In both cases you might want to opt for the additional ‘esseesse’ kit which harks back to the old days of Carlo Abarth’s go-faster kits in a box. It gives this wee-beastie a power jump to 118kW @ 5750rpm and an increase of 24Nm to 230Nm @ 3000rpm. Also included is a brake upgrade with bigger calipers and cross drilled disks, performance suspension complemented by sports dampers from Koni, and rounds it all off with some nice 17-inch alloy wheels that are available in either white or black. The kit costs an additional R37 000 and will be fitted by the Abarth Performance Centre. Best of all you get to keep the crate that it all comes in - there’s no ‘fitted at the factory’ box to tick here and adds to the allure of owning a true Abarth esseesse.

Not for girls. The Abarth 500C even looks good in colours other than primer grey.

The original esseesse models were enthusiast cars and that remains the same here. You dont need to buy the extra kit. Truth be told the 99kW version will likely be ample for most people and the Abarth styling alone gives it the cred that the 500 lacked amongst South Africa’s testosterone-fueled masses. But for those discerning few who enjoy driving, it can be made that little bit more special by eking out slightly more fun for the daily commute, from an already capable chassis. This car enters the school yard that has been occupied by the Polo GTi, RenaultSport Clio, Citroen DS3 and Peugeot 207 GTI and they’re pretty big bullies.

A nice place to be. Look at the ''I'm serious about my pedigree" shift-light cluster on the centre console.

The boring stuff is that the Abarth 500 is pretty much standard high-spec safety (Euro NCAP 5-star) tand features seven airbags including one for your knees, ABS, EBD, ESP, Blue&Me mobile phone prep and iPod integration, a sport button, metal shiny bits everywhere, a shift-light pod, and Abarth sport seats. All very nice.

It's in RenaultSport Clio, Polo GTI, Citroen DS3 territory and it wants to play.

We’ll save you from all the other nostalgia and trivia that goes with the Abarth badge – you can listen to the upcoming podcast for that – but well leave you with this: the “Don’t call me, Babe” leitmotif of Barb Wire comes from the original advertising for the Barb Wire Dark Horse comic book. Barb was quite a bolshy broad who wasn’t afraid to lay a bit of smackdown on the boys. She used those words to differentiate herself from a buxom, slightly airy comic book heroine named Babe, by John Byrne, and like Barb, the Abarth 500 is not an airy, cutesy 500, it’s a parabuthus granulatus.